Gemini
I never saw myself in you, Gemini. You spoke a language I did not understand, tracing patterns that never seemed to fit me. Gemini, with your restless curiosity, your sharp wit, your ever-shifting nature—you had always seemed like a stranger to me.
I was steady, deliberate, hesitant to dive into the whirlwind of change that Gemini is known for. Gemini—the twin sign, the wandering wind, the voice that shifts and sharpens—I could not find myself in you.
Now I see it. In the flicker between thoughts, in the way I hunger for change, for discovery, for something new and unspoken. I see it in the way my mind leaps, in the way my voice carries both gravity and lightness, in the way I can be both silence and storm.
Gemini had been whispering to me all along.
It was never about becoming—it was about seeing. I had always been twin-spirited, always been wind-touched, always been shifting within my own certainty. The stars had known, even when I did not.
And now, as I step into myself, I do not resist.
What am I to you? A muse? An ego boost? Someone to pass the time?
I am not a placeholder for your life while you hope that someone better comes along.
Find better. Do better.
I am not a waiting room for your indecision, a convenient comfort while you hesitate at the merest thought of commitment. I am not an almost, a maybe, a passing season before you chase the next best thing. If you are searching for someone more—go. Find her. Chase her. But do not keep me in your orbit as an option, a safety net, a placeholder for when nothing else fits.
I refuse to be used like that.
I’ve wasted too much years of my life on that.
I will not be reduced to an afterthought, a substitute, or a temporary fix while you wait for someone else to arrive. Someone hotter? Funnier? More attractive? A better lover? More successful? Smarter? Wiser? Kinder?
Boy, good luck.
Do better.
By all means, go find her. Find the girl that’s better than me. I dare you.
I’m ready for a real love.
Why must that always elude me?
You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?
Donald Trump is going to collapse the global economy, but sorry you thought Kamala’s laugh was weird.
White men without college degrees are going to ruin this country.
It’s obvious America has become way more right wing… Especially amongst men, and I think about a lot of what is fed to us online... We have to figure out a way to stop every dude under 35 from turning in to Crypto Hitler.
And may this past election be the death knell in the self-congratulatory “Gen Z will change the world” shit. Gen Z white men vote like every other generation of white men, and in some cases are further to the right.
The right wing radicalization of high school and college-aged men is truly one of the biggest crises in the U.S., yet it goes completely unnoticed.
It’s quite spectacular just how much the United States hates women. It is a consistent, unchangeable force, as constant as the sun.
Letter 8
“You have had many great sorrows, which have passed. And you say that this their passing, too, was difficult and discordant for you. But I beg you to consider whether these griefs have not rather gone right through you? Whether there has not been much change within you; whether, while you were sad, you did not alter in some point or other of your being?
Because we are alone with that foreign thing, which has entered into us; because everything in which we have confidence and to which we are accustomed is for a moment taken away from us; because we are in the midst of a state of transition, in which we cannot remain. The grief, too, passes. The new thing in us, that which has been added to us, has entered into our heart and penetrated to its innermost chamber, and is no longer there even—it is already in our blood.
We do not experience what it was. We could easily be made to believe that nothing had happened, and yet we have changed just as a house changes into which a guest has entered. We cannot say who has come and perhaps we shall never know, but there are many signs to assure us that the future enters into us in this way, so as to transform itself in us long before it happens. And this is why it is so important to be alone and attentive, when one is sad; because the apparently eventless and motionless moment, when our future enters into us, is so much nearer to life than that other manifestly chance point of time, when it actually happens to us as if from without.
And so you must not be horrified, if a grief rises up before you greater than any you have seen before. If over your hands and all your doings there passes an uneasiness, like light and cloud-shadows, you must bethink yourself, that something is happening to you, that life has not forgotten you, that it is holding you in its hands, and will not let you fall. Why do you want to exclude any disturbance, any woe or sadness from your life, seeing that you do not know what work their presence is performing in yourself?”
-Excerpt from Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
let me be soft
I want to love the universe in the ways it has not
loved me .
I welcome a partner who is my equal.
I want a man who keeps me soft and feminine.
I long for a love that is unwavering, solid, and steady. A partner who stands not above me, nor below, but beside me.
For the freedom to surrender my walls, to exhale my strength, and simply rest in the cradle of something greater than myself. To be held, not because I am weak, but because my softness deserves a sanctuary.
Let me soften in his presence, let me bloom as the woman I am meant to be, untethered by the roles I’ve worn in a world that asked me to lead where others faltered.
Let me be tender; let me be wild in my kindness. Let me be unapologetically soft.
Let them be the strength I choose to lean into, and let me be the softness they find solace in.
I’m so tired of acting like a man because they cannot.
Let me be the woman.
Let me be soft.
A man who has never had a woman like me, it’s hard for him to understand.
Most women in this generation today aren’t masculine. We are just surrounded by feminine men who trigger our survival instincts.
Too many men today bring nothing to the table.
Yet are quick to get saucy when women aren’t feminine or submissive toward them.
This is why so many women are single.
We are tired of having to be both the man and the woman in the relationship.
If she has to take care of you, plan everything, cover the bills, manage the house, and be her own emotional and physical support, she’ll choose to stay single.
It’s wild that men with mama’s boy syndrome and feminine tendencies have the audacity to consider themselves the prize then call women masculine when we refuse to do everything on their terms.
So no, she’s not masculine. She’s adapting to survive and become the protector, provider, and leader that you couldn’t be.
Let me be soft.